Showing posts with label Breaking Monster News. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Breaking Monster News. Show all posts

Friday, May 31, 2013

UPDATED! BREAKING MONSTER NEWS: Sea Monsters on Old Maps

I just found out that early explorers added sea monsters to their maps!  Source:
http://www.finebooksmagazine.com/fine_books_blog/2013/04/sea-monsters-and-old-maps.phtml

Geography class did not have to be so lethally boring.

Here are some images from Google:

This is from the famous "Carta Marina" from the 16th century.  It is the earliest map of Nordic countries that names places and gives details.

From the Famous "Cartina Marina"
Closeup on "Tile" and "Fare"
This map could not have been good for the tourist trade of Tile.  There seem to be two sea monsters LARGER THAN THE ISLAND itself lurking on the eastern coast.

The island of Fare seems to be even more terrifying.  There seems to be a giant sea monster/fish resting it's ugly fish monster chin directly on the western side of the island.  To make matters worse, the monster is giving a disapproving stare. Who wants to live on an island where a giant, ugly fish monster is giving you the stink eye all day.

I can't tell if the monster on Fare is dead. The map maker did not have the courtesy of adding a giant "X" mark over the eye  The fish monster seems to have a giant anchor/hook in its side and three bleeding wounds. There are also two bent-over people standing on its back.  If this giant fish is dead, the smell must be unbearable.

Doomed Ship
If I somehow made it out of this ship alive after a giant red sea monster devoured it, I would be writing up the nastiest review on the Trip Advisor.com website.

According to my research, the reason the early explorers put the monsters on maps was an advertising ploy to get "landlubbers" to buy maps.   (See, even early explorers knew how boring maps are.)  What a genius marketing idea!

I have taken the liberty of adding sea monsters to the state map of North Dakota - one of the most boring states in America. You're welcome, North Dakota Department of Tourism.




Wednesday, May 29, 2013

BREAKING MONSTER NEWS: The Green Ghost Game spotted at an Antique Mall in Reynoldsburg, Ohio

This is the first time I have ever a Green Ghost Game in person.  It is a huge box - about 4 feet wide. Unfortunately, it costs about $90.



The same booth also had this Voodoo game but it sold quickly.



I don't know who would ever buy this "All in the Family" Card Game:
Hey, everybody!  It's the screaming
homophobic bigot from "All in the Family"

GOAL IN LIFE:  To have more disposable income for horror-related products.