Sunday, September 22, 2013

Killjoy Comics: "Archie's Parables" (Spire Christian Comics, 1973) Archie Almost Joins an Orgy!

I finally found a pile of Archie Spire comics at an antique store.  They are awful on so many levels.

Here is a ham-fisted retelling of "The Devil and Daniel Webster" with a dash of "The Rocky Horror Picture Show."   Featuring Professor Flutesnoot as Professor Beelzebub.

Jughead is offered food and he eats it in the next panel.  Apparently, that was him selling his soul for food. I am confused by the rapid, two-panel turn of events because Jughead wasn't given the choice: your soul in exchange for food.  I say this is foul play, entrapment, and bad storytelling.

According to other retellings of  "The Devil and Daniel Webster" and the movies "Oh God, You Devil" and "Bedazzled," the person who sells their soul agrees to a specific contract. It is such an important plot point, the person signing the contract/selling their soul is on the DVD cover with the devil looking over their shoulder.

Even the Devil himself waits until the person voluntarily signs the contract, this Professor Beelzebub/Flutesnoot is a real loose cannon. Someone should take him to People's & Demon's Court.

Oh God, You Devil! & Bedazzled

Jughead sold his soul for several pieces of fruit, a long length of linked hot dogs, and a turkey.  If you are going to trade you soul for some food, there should be some cake.

Why is Betty outside a remote, scary mansion by herself in the middle of a dark and stormy night?

The Professor shows up and offers Archie AN ORGY!  There are three buxom women waiting on a bed for Archie.  

Archie then says “I want to see things God’s way” and the castle explodes.  The other prisoners, including Jughead, are free.

Poorly written, poorly paced, inexplicable turn of events, subtle as a sledgehammer...

No comments:

Post a Comment

All comments are welcome but I will block spam, sales links, ads, etc.