Friday, June 7, 2013

REVIEW: Hannibal (NBC) "Entree" - Eddie Izzard as Dr. Gideon (Part 1)

Dr. Gideon returns tonight.  I'm going to re-watch his first episode "Entree".

If you are shocked at the "twist" at the end of this scene, then you are as naive as this guy...

Opening:  ECU on sweaty man lying motionless on the floor.  Pull back to reveal that he is behind bars being watched closely by 5 people (3 officers, 2 orderlies). No one is rushing in to save him.  "This is your final opportunity to comply. On your feet, Dr. Gideon, or we will restrain you." After checking his pulse, they order a gurney.

CUT TO: Dr. Gideon on a stretcher in an empty, darkened infirmary where a solitary nurse is hooking him up to a heart monitor.  Where are the five people who were watching him a moment ago?  They were so suspicious of Dr. Gideon lying motionless his cell, why aren't they suspicious now?

You won't believe what happens next...

Click on "Read More" to continue...

Get out of town! Who could have seen this coming?

Luckily, this ridiculous situation is addressed right away when Will Graham talks to  Dr. Chilton and asks "Why was a nurse left alone with a prisoner in a high-security psychiatric hospital?"

According to Chilton, Dr. Gideon behaved perfectly for the first two years of his stay.  As a precaution, Dr. Gideon was also handcuffed to the gurney. He used a metal fork tine to pick the locks. (More on the metal tine later.)

SERIAL KILLER 101:  Pens and forks can be lethal tools in the arsenals of the genius serial killers. [Hannibal uses a pen to pick the lock in "The Silence of the Lambs"]  Would it be so outrageous to run these guys through metal detectors like they have at airports?  At least, wave a wand over them or build better handcuff locks. Also, plastic silverware. 

The "Amazing" Escape From Handcuffs
Will is now reenacting the opening scene.  He is on gurney in the  instead of Dr. Gideon. You see an extreme close up of Will/Dr. Gideon removing a metal tine from under his skin.

How long has that metal tine been under his skin?  The skin around the cut looks healthy with no discoloration.  Can you really store things under your skin like this?  Wouldn't your arm turn purple and get infected?

Maybe Dr. Gideon is onto something. Who needs wallets or purses if you have a handy flesh pouch to store stuff in? It would be a perfect place to stash an extra house key or a bobby pin.

What does the nurse get in return for hooking him up to a heart monitor? She gets her eyes gouged out. Nice. Way to abuse the honor system, Dr. Gideon. No one will ever trust you again.

"The Chesapeake Ripper" is not a very good name
We finally get to the crime scene and see what Dr. Gideon did to the nurse.  She is impaled with a bunch of long metal objects and looks like a piece of disturbing performance art. I could not stop thinking how she looked like she was on the losing end of  a giant "Jack Straws" game.

I am going to call this killer the JACK STRAWS killer because the names THE CHESAPEAKE RIPPER and THE MINNESOTA SHRIKE are dull.  "The Chesapeake Ripper" sounds like some fancy jalapeno-flavored snack crackers.  And you have to look up "shrike" in a dictionary to even figure out what "The Minnesota Shrike" means. Keep it simple, people.

Say what you will about the incompetent burglars in the Home Alone movies, the "Wet Bandits" is pretty catchy.

"The Wet Bandits" from the Home Alone movies
Harpooned by Home Depot 
Another flashback to "My Girl"/Clarice Starling-lite.  She and Crawford are examining another corpse that looks like the handiwork of the JACK STRAWS killer.  The unfortunate victim has been impaled by a ludicrous amount of hardware (a saw, several pairs of pliers, a couple of crowbars, awls...)

Today's corpse sponsored by The Home Depot Hardware Department

How many people come down to consult with Dr. Gideon each day?  If you were near his cell, you would never get any sleep.

One of my biggest gripes about this show is how the same few characters have the same few discussions. When Jack Crawford went over to Hannibal's office, he talked about his wife and her cancer.  They also discussed Will's fragile mental state. Again.

Eddie Izzard is a very gifted comic and performer.  I was hoping for some better lines from him.  There is a lame "You actually caught me red handed" remark.

Lots of tedious discussions questioning whether Dr. Gideon is the Chesapeake Ripper.  Was the impaling done posthumously?  Missing organ patterns?

Why does Hannibal go out of his way to show that Dr. Gideon is not the Chesapeake Ripper.  Why isn't he happy that people think the Ripper is someone else and not him? He's like the boring serial killer who is boasting about his accomplishments in South Park's "Cartman's Incredible Gift".

"I am so bored"

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