"Obnoxio The Clown Funpages" From Crazy #72 (Marvel Comics, 1981)

"Afterlife With Archie" Prepare To Be Traumatized! - Countdown To Halloween / BlogOWeen

"Afterlife With Archie"  - the new Archie horror comic has an official trailer on You Tube.  Here are some screen shots.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nq76kczJpaU

I was not prepared to see Jughead's dog, Hot Dog, being mowed down by a car. Jughead takes his dead dog to Sabrina the Teen-Age Witch who happens to have a copy of the Necronomicon. As always, it is a short jump from "Pet Semetary" to the beginnings of a zombie apocalypse.

This is really hardcore. What's next?  "The Muppet Babies" star in Faces Of Death? "The Smurfs" meet The Human Centipede?  What if Archie's red jalopy turns into Stephen King's Christine? (The last suggestion sounds pretty good.)

It is a nice touch that The Archie's "Sugar Sugar" is playing at the Halloween party. BONUS: Click to the bottom of this post for a palate cleanser.

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Jerry Lewis & The Haunted House From "The Adventures Of Jerry Lewis" #72 (DC Comics, 1962) Countdown To Halloween / BlogOWeen

I am only scanning the haunted house part of the comic. Pages 2 to 10 are painfully tedious. This comic makes Scooby Doo look fresh. (It is hard to believe this is the 72nd issue of this series and that is was published from 1957-1971.)

Here is what you need to know... Jerry Lewis is mixed up with a group of Boy Guides (Boy Scouts) and he gets lost in the woods in a storm. He seeks refuge from the storm in a nearby house.  NOTE:  The sexy redhead that keeps kissing Jerry has never met him before and she thinks he is her cousin.

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WTF Items From "The Monsters & Magic Memorabilia Sale" Countdown To Halloween / BlogOWeen

There are some amazing items in "The Monsters & Magic Memorabilia Sale" (see previous posts). It has many pieces of the famous Forrest Ackerman collection.

There are also a few duds.  If you have $1,000 or more to spend on monster movie memorabilia, there are better choices than these pointless, dangerous, or broken items.

Exhibit A: $1,000 for Lon Chaney Sr. Owned & Used (Broken) Fishing Pole!

I understand why this item is being sold because it did belong to both Lon Chaney Sr. and his son, Lon Chaney Jr. who both used it for "recreational fishing" (see description).  Unless the Hunchback of Notre Dame or the Wolfman was seen using this fishing pole in the movies, I think this is pointless.  Also, it is broken with loose wrapping and a missing button. THROW IT OUT.

What's next?  A flat tire from Boris Karloff's car? Vincent Price's used lug wrench? Bela Lugosi's cracked toilet seat?

Exhibit A

Quick Introduction to the Strickfaden Collection

The following WTF items are from the Strickfaden Collection.  In order to put them in context, here is a brief bio for Kenneth Strickfaden (born 1896). LINK:  http://www.strangemag.com/madscientists/strickbod.html

Horror films of the '30s and '40s would have been far different if not for the work of one man, Kenneth Strickfaden (born 1896), whose flashing, sparking electrical equipment was a highlight in many films depicting advanced science. Originally his electrical work was only a hobby, but as early as the 1920s Hollywood saw the promise of his machines, and he was kept busy at many studios, providing all manner of amazing effects.

Here are some of his props. LINK: http://www.universalmonsterarmy.com/forum/index.php?topic=1468.0

Exhibit B: $2,5000 for (Dented) Semispheres From Strickfaden Collection!

Other than being "semi" and a "sphere", what is a semisphere?  What movies featured 5 foot tall ice cream scoops? I can understand the value of a Tesla Coil that was used in the original Frankenstein, but this item seems really unnecessary especially since it is not linked to any specific film.  The vague credential is it is "believed to have been used in films dating back to the 1930's."  Also, one of them has a dent.

Exhibit B

Exhibit C: $2,000 for a Trunk of (Dangerous) Electrical Cables From Strickfaden!

What would you do with this?  It would make an ugly display and be dangerous to use.  I hope no one is seriously considering plugging in these old electrical cables because (according to the same article):

"Apparatus constantly failed due to overheating," he [Strickfaden] once revealed to writer Scott MacQueen. "Most effects did not photograph as expected, or they were eliminated due to electrical failures."

Exhibit C

Exhibit D: $1,000 for a (Carcinogenic) Asbestos Suit Used by Kenneth Strickfaden!

Hello!  Asbestos?  It is a well-known carcinogen that people pay good money to have removed from their homes and offices. Who is going to spend $1000 or more bringing it into their home?

Like the trunk of cables, the question is whether you would display this or wear it.  If you displayed it, I imagine it should be in some sort of special protective casing. Also, it appears to be filthy.

If you plan on wearing it, you are a fool. It would be akin to buying some lead-based makeup from Shakespeare's time and wearing it because of the historical significance. Sometimes junk is junk and toxic substances should be removed as a safety precaution.

Somebody should notify the local health department or hazmat.

Exhibit D

DARTH MAUL Lego Star Wars Advent Calendar 2012 & DARTH VADER (James Earl Jones) Narrates the Bible

I was stunned when I went into a Lego store last year and saw this on the shelf.  It is the most sinister Christmas product I have ever seen.

I can't even imagine the back story to this item within the Lego Star Wars universe.  What would make Darth Maul put on a Santa hat and hold a little snow globe and be the face of an Advent Calendar?  The purpose of an Advent Calendar is a way to celebrate Christmas by counting down the days until  Jesus' birth.

It's not like there aren't enough cuddly Star Wars characters to choose from. An Ewok would look incredibly cute in a Santa hat.

On a similar note, I was at Half Price books when I heard an older woman ask if they had "James Earl Jones Reads The Bible."  Jones, famous for being the voice of Darth Vader, has narrated the bible.  The woman said that her son might be interested in learning about the bible if he heard it being read by Darth Vader.

I thought the son was playing a trick on his mother but the James Earl Jones bible actually exists.

REVIEW: Hannibal (NBC) "Entree" - Eddie Izzard as Dr. Gideon (Part 1)

Dr. Gideon returns tonight.  I'm going to re-watch his first episode "Entree".

OPENING SCENE/MEET DR. GIDEON
If you are shocked at the "twist" at the end of this scene, then you are as naive as this guy...

Opening:  ECU on sweaty man lying motionless on the floor.  Pull back to reveal that he is behind bars being watched closely by 5 people (3 officers, 2 orderlies). No one is rushing in to save him.  "This is your final opportunity to comply. On your feet, Dr. Gideon, or we will restrain you." After checking his pulse, they order a gurney.

CUT TO: Dr. Gideon on a stretcher in an empty, darkened infirmary where a solitary nurse is hooking him up to a heart monitor.  Where are the five people who were watching him a moment ago?  They were so suspicious of Dr. Gideon lying motionless his cell, why aren't they suspicious now?

You won't believe what happens next...

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REVIEW: Hannibal (NBC) "Trou Normand"

Damn it!  I got sucked into NBC's Hannibal again.  After the flesh angels and human cello, I did not want to watch any more episodes.  Don't get me wrong.  I love the actor who is playing Hannibal and I enjoy horror movies but the show is too gory for me.

If I do watch it, most of my time is spent wondering about the small details.

This week featured a totem pole composed (or decomposed) of dead bodies.  When the crime was recreated, there were shots of the killer/artist using twine to tie the bodies together.  The logistics of using twine makes sense on a one pound rump roast but is it sturdy enough to bind 30 dead human bodies to a pole? I highly doubt it.

"Nothing to see here, folks.  Move along.  
No, it is not a totem pole made from dead bodies."

There are elaborate corpse mutilations each week.  You would think that one of the culprits would get sick with some rare disease.  It does not seem sanitary to defile corpses (or, in one case, comatose people) and spend a great deal of time creating performance art out of them.  Something's gotta give.

On a show like House M.D., a patient can contract a near fatal illness just from drinking the quinine in tonic water.  On Hannibal, the main character maintains a steady diet of human flesh and never gets sick. It is true that he is picky about what human flesh he will accept for a meal.  He thoughtfully returned a liver to a corpse because it had liver cancer and was inedible. How was he able to diagnose his meat before preparing it? Could he just eyeball the cancer or did he run tests? 

Why doesn't Hannibal get some disease from toting a cancerous human liver back and forth like he's returning a sweater to The Gap? I can't stand it.

Once again, sorry I watched this show.  Thanks for the nightmares, NBC.

REVIEW: BEHIND THE CANDELABRA Starring Bugs Bunny as Liberace ("I Wish My Brother George Was Here")

Who the hell wants to see a Liberace movie?  Is there an audience for that?  I am having flashbacks to 1988 when there were inexplicably two Liberace made-for-tv movies competing with each other.  Surely, those two movies are more than enough for a lifetime.

There is some major star power in this movie.  Steven Soderbergh directed it and it stars Michael Douglas and Matt Damon.  It was made to play in theaters but it was deemed, and this was after the success of Brokeback Mountain, too gay.

                                                                                        Give the guy his dignity!  

I am not denying that Liberace was an excellent piano player and showman extraordinaire but enough is enough. Let the guy rest in peace. 

Which defunct celebrity will get the movie treatment next?  Charo, Jaye P. Morgan, Rip Taylor (the guy who throws confetti over himself), the Kooky Lend Me Your Comb Guy, the San Diego Chicken?

This is the only Liberace movie you ever need to see (below):

Bugs Bunny as Liberace

UPDATE:  Started watching "Under the Candelabra" and only made it to the 29 minute mark.  After a passionate (and extremely sweaty) lovemaking session in bed, Matt Damon's character asked Liberace "How do you stay hard for so long?"  BLECH!!!

Liberace's fan base consists of little old ladies who no not want to believe that he was gay. If one of them has a heart attack from watching this film, the blood is on your hands, HBO.

Flesh Angels & Human Cellos! NBC's "Hannibal" is Too Gross For The Rusty Walrus

Who knew that one of the big three networks would make a prime-time show that is too gross (for me) to watch?

I knew that watching NBC's "Hannibal" would entail cannibalism.  Fine. I did not sign up for flesh angels (don't ask) and a human cello (really, don't ask).

I loved Jonathan Demme's "Silence of the Lambs" but watching each subsequent spin-off has resulted in disappointment.   Anthony Hopkins created one of the most charismatic movie monsters of all time.  Hopkins is chewing the scenery in the movie (when he is not chewing flesh).

This is the sort of cannibal show that is more my speed: